Maxims by which to live


  • There is no feeding after which a good spit up will not do.

  • Making parents think you are done spitting up in order to have them drop the burp rag protection is a good way to get them in on the dirtying clothes action.

  • Peeing in your own face is more fun than you might think.


  • There is no setting in which a good fart will not do.

  • Falling asleep while nursing in order to make parents think you are done eating and then waking up 10 minutes later ready to eat some more is a fun trick to play on sleep-deprived mothers.

  • Bottle then breast; never the other way around!

[NB: Those of you landing here hoping to find comments about a smutty gentlemen's magazine are probably sorely dissapointed.]

Listening to: Yeasayer - Sunrise
via FoxyTunes

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